putting it out there (part two)


[continued from Taking Personal Risks and Trusting ]

One day, while I was working with Mimmakkme, she said, “Go ahead and have your lunch, because someone wants to talk with you afterwards”.


“Heruka wants to speak with you.”

That lunch went quickly.

And so we began. He spent some time answering many questions I had about why my life had gone the way it had, roles that certain people had played in my life, etc. I told Him that I was so grateful to have made this contact, and that I wanted to do whatever was needed to make the most progress possible and help as many people as possible. He asked:

“Are you willing to do whatever I say, no matter how crazy it sounds, no matter what?”

I thought for a few moments… I had seen enough movies and read enough stories to imagine some of the possibilities this could entail…


I knew if I passed this opportunity up, I was sunk. Worse than Christian Hell.

“Okay, then. Let’s get to work.”

And so we began. He told me some things and gave me some instructions that are probably best not shared in detail here. At least nothing was illegal.

So let’s just skip ahead and say that within a week or so, I found myself sitting in admissions at a local mental health facility, filling out a form saying that the only people who could contact me were my younger brother, Barack Obama, and Oprah Winfrey.


And explaining to the attendant what all the Buddhist books and implements in my suitcase were (Turned out, he knew a little about some of them. Hmmm…).

And that I was talking directly to Buddhas with a pendulum.

They took my pendulum for safekeeping (they’re dangerous, you know), but I managed to hide my prayer beads.

Little did they know, prayer beads can be used as a pendulum, too. So can a kitchen towel, if need be.

That week down the rabbit hole was one of the longest weeks of my life (so far), but if you read my posts about how we can perceive everyone around us as Enlightened Beings, perhaps you can imagine how eye-opening and instructive – and inspiring – that week was.

Here are some tips, in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation and want to leave as quickly as possible:

Don’t tell a psychiatrist that you channel.

Don’t tell the staff that we’re all surrounded by Enlightened Beings.

Don’t refuse to take your meds – they won’t let you go home until you’ve taken them for a few days.

(It’ll be alright, really.)

Eat whatever they offer you (unless you’re allergic, of course).

(It’ll be alright, really.)

When the psych asks you if you still believe you can talk to invisible beings, just tell them what they want to hear: “No, I understand now that I was just under a lot of stress.”

(That particular lying karma is going to be really easy to clear)

Do not be afraid of the other patients; your presence helps them.

(I’m so glad I can smile now as I write this!)

By the end of the week, my brother had rescued me (Obama and Oprah never got the message, I suppose… I blame the Secret Service ;), and I headed off to my new home.

As if that wasn’t enough… I had no idea what was in store for me next.

I had just begun to settle in there, secretly channeling whenever I could, when one day, Heruka told me to go buy some notebook paper. We were going to begin a book. And Heruka explained that it was going to be a book of channeled material.

From Seth.

I’ve always been a huge fan of The Seth Material books, so I was thrilled! And sure enough, Seth began to dictate material to me, in a manner almost identical to how Jane Roberts had done. Minus the beer and cigarettes. My stimuli were black coffee and chocolate.

Within two days, I had 24 pages of handwritten notes that were the beginnings of All About Enlightenment.

The next step was to contact the publishers, and jubilantly inform them that Seth was appearing again and offering more material. I took me a little while to track them down, but I did. And I followed Seth’s instructions to the letter.

I mailed the first pages to the publisher. Of course, their website was very clear that they were not accepting new manuscripts, but I knew this would be the exception.

A couple weeks later, I got a very brief, polite and formal letter from the publishers, informing me that Seth had given instructions that he would never channel through anyone but Jane (who is now deceased), and that, in so many words, they really didn’t have time to deal with all the letters they got from people claiming to be channeling Seth… Oh, and by the way, I was free to go ahead and try to publish. But I might be hearing from their attorneys…

As I sat in my car at the post office, reading the letter, a bit stunned (and of course disappointed), I sighed and took out my pendulum.

Okay, what’s going on here?

“We just want you to get used to rejection letters. And not being attached to outcomes.”

Okay, so we go through all this – and now, what does Seth have to say about it?


Yeah! You know: Seth!?!

(soft, mischievous chuckle)

Wait! You mean it’s been YOU all the time???

Heruka was having great fun with me. Damn. He does an amazing Seth impersonation. His energy even felt different.

Wait. You can impersonate Seth… Whom else can you impersonate?


You mean those demons were YOU???


Once you finally GET that you are protected, and that everything appears is a manifestation of your spiritual guide,  things will get a lot easier, Leslee. Just trust.

At that point, we began working on the book in earnest. Within 6 weeks, I had a hundred page manuscript typed, and had even edited it.

The material was amazing – truly amazing – and none of it was (is) mine.

I had painstakingly transcribed every word exactly as it had come from Heruka and all the other Buddhas. I had checked and double-checked on intended meanings and word choices. I had worn out three charts and broken two pendulums.

And, aside from the content’s message, it was the most stilted, dry, incredibly boring book I had ever read. 

I was instructed through designing a cover and printing several copies. Despite the heaviness of the book’s “voice”, I was thrilled that we had finished. And I was certain that finding a publisher or someone to fund self-publishing would be a snap.

Did I say “certain”?

I think I’ve shared this in other posts: I’ve since learned that any time I think I’m certain about something, I’m certainly “mistaken”.

Publishing? First, I had to cross a much more treacherous bridge. I had to somehow begin to tell people what I’d been doing for the past three months. And I argued with Heruka for two weeks over whether I really had to tell my parents.

When I look back on that time now, I enjoy a good laugh. My Mom loves the book, even if she doesn’t understand it all. My Dad just patiently accepts. My son shrugs – he already knows most of this anyway. As long as he gets his allowance, he can take the embarrassment. And no one has suggested that we take a ride to talk to the doctor.

No mistake: The world is definitely changing.

So I began sharing my new world with people. A few friends gave me some wonderful feedback, but in my heart, I felt the book was too stiff and solemn to have any appeal. I continually asked, “Is the wording really alright?” Heruka consistently said that it was necessary to respect the transmission – verbatim.

Finally, one day, as I was handing a copy to a friend, I realized I was embarrassed (danger sign). What was embarrassing?

The book was depressing. This path is not depressing. It didn’t align.

It was almost entirely written in a passive voice, with a negative tone. It projected a sense of impending doom if we didn’t ALL immediately start following our spiritual paths with utmost sincerity. The chances of that happening seemed dismal.

It reminded me of the tradition I’d left.

So I went home and had a talk with Heruka. I was frustrated.

What now? I can’t pitch this book! Actually, this book shouldn’t even need pitching. Nobody’s gonna want to read this. Something’s not right.

“So, you take a shot at it.”

But I can’t mess with Your words!

“Take a shot.”

I spent an evening re-writing one of the chapters. It ended up being a third of the length of the original chapter, and I felt incredibly energized and positive about it.

“See? You’re a better writer than your spiritual guides.”

You know, it’s amazing some of the things that our guides (and parents) do for us to boost our confidence and self-esteem. They are so incredibly patient. We had just spent months on a manuscript that They knew would have to be completely re-written. But They wanted me to feel the greatest possible resonance with the words.

I also struggled with fear. Fear of things so crazy  that I won’t even enumerate them. Fear of some of the outlandish things that might transpire if I really tried to share this material with people. I needed an attorney. I needed thousands of dollars. I needed to read up on the copyright laws. It would take years to find people I could trust.

I was truly concerned that Heruka and Lhamo Dorje’s words would never meet more than a few pairs of eyes.

Then, one night, They told me that actually, we would do several versions of the book. One would be a very beautiful, hand-bound edition, and one would be a very affordable paperback. I liked that a lot.

But oh, yeah, there would be a third version: a free one, on the internet.

Huh? I had no idea how that could be possible.

Around noon, on January 14, 2011, Heruka had me follow a link to what turned out to be a blog. I had been hearing about blogs for a few months, because I had a friend who kept forwarding some to me. After I read the post, I could tell that Heruka wanted to talk to me.

“We want you make your first blog post before you go to bed tonight.”

Very funny. I was certain He was joking. (get it? “certain”?)

I spent almost two hours on WordPress.ORG (please don’t try this at home…), trying to figure out how the hosting thing worked, before I finally called a friend who I knew had a blog. I was panicked. There was no way…

My friend pointed me to wp.COM, and things got a lot easier.

Fortunately, we had just finished creating the “graphic novel” version of the book, Hurtling Towards Enlightenment, so I had a number of posts ready to go. Somehow, just before midnight that night, I clicked the “publish” button, and the welcome page was up for all to see.

Six months earlier, I would have said that I had no idea how that could be possible. I’m beginning to understand that anything is possible.

Using the pendulum, Heruka went on to teach me how to make videos and my own pendulums. I’ll write more about how this actually works (for me, at least), in the next part (s?) of this series.

Here’s the point I’d like to make: We can all accomplish things beyond our wildest imaginings, if we have trust and faith in ourselves, and that we’re guided.

I suspect that your experiences will be very different than mine, in the way these lessons and steps might manifest for you. I suspect that they will be very much like mine, in the joy and peace of mind they’ll bring you.

So, if you enjoy the words we share, our Guides deserve all the credit. And if the compositions or grammar fail, I take responsibility. Either way, if the little spiritual light-bulb goes off for even a few people, then it’s all most certainly worth it.

I  deeply and joyously look forward to hearing about your experiences and progress. We all thank you for reading.


3 thoughts on “putting it out there (part two)

  1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I just found you recently and look forward to reading everything. I love your writing style, it’s so laid back and honest. Keep up the good work! :)

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