You’ve all been told by others what you should look for in a romantic partner.
We’d like to ask you: How can ordinary beings possibly know what is best for another person?
Certainly, others may feel they know you very well, but why should one person think they know what is best for another in terms of emotional well-being? Many people might believe that since they ‘love’ someone, they’re entitled to give this kind of advice. This is a myth that needs to be completely dispelled before we go any further into this chapter.
First of all, the people who give this sort of advice usually assume they know what will best make another person happy. Secondly, they assume they know what kind of person can provide that particular sort of remedy.
Nine times out of ten, these advice-giving people are just plain wrong.
(We’re referring in particular to American culture here.)
The reason these people are usually wrong is that they’re usually also making some incorrect assumptions about what constitutes happiness.
These people usually believe that two people, in order to be happy, must:
- Share a domicile
- Be physically near one another as much as possible
- Have many similar interests
- Have many similar opinions
- Like the same things
- Be of similar types of ‘attractiveness’
- Be of similar age
- Be of similar ethnicity (or ethnic preferences)
And then it’s considered a special bonus if two people can share vocational interests and economic status.
Those are a lot of criteria to meet, when really all two people need, in order to enjoy a meaningful relationship, is to feel true happiness together.
Now that sounds simple enough, but the expression ‘true happiness’ lead us to explore even more myths that need to be dispelled.
What exactly is ‘true happiness’, when we’re describing a relationship between two lovers?
Simply put, it is when two people can sit together and neither of them feels the need to speak.