discernment and self-confidence


[by Leslee]

I still feel like a novice at this blogging thing.

And at this channeling thing.

It’s been almost two years, but that’s a really short length of time in many ways.

Still, I’ve noticed a few things and learned a few lessons that I’d like to share, in case it helps others. Most of us have been so inundated throughout our lives with mis-information, that we might appreciate some tips for distinguishing help from obstacles.

1. How do we know who’s steering our way?

I’ve noticed that some people don’t seem to trust their own discernment, especially when it comes to “channeled” material. Or maybe they don’t even allow their discernment to develop. So they rely on “credentials”, because there is an abundance of channeling going on right now.

The trick is, we don’t need credentials, we need discernment.

The yearning for discernment runs quite deep. I want to know whom I’m talking to when I’m channeling, and from the beginning, I asked for a “source” that others would recognize – as if that lent credibility to the information.

I was quite shocked the day my Guides started spelling words with a pendulum, and explaining themselves to me. The initial contacts were with beings I didn’t recognize; as we continued, I was introduced to more and more highly realized beings. Eventually I landed in contact with an energy – a “Being” – whose signature I clearly recognized. That was how I began “chatting” with Heruka.

Thank goodness, I had finally connected with someone I could trust!

It is important that we ask for the highest possible guidance. Then, we proceed with the confidence that we’re getting it, no matter what.

Imagine my frustration when, six months later, I felt like I was being taunted by my long-awaited Pure Spiritual Guide! I was at a point of no turning back; I knew that there was no way I was going to abandon this path, but I was more than a little irritated with some of the lessons He was sending me.

Finally, one day, we had a huge breakthrough.

I told Him to eff-off, put the pendulum and chart down, and didn’t pick it up for three days.

It was a huge act of desperation. After fuming and ranting internally, I eventually calmed down and decided that yes, I’d come back, but there was no way I was going to put up with any more of that bullshit.

When I next sat down with my implements to see if anyone was still there, I was even more surprised by the message that came:

“Thank you, and congratulations!”

For what?

“For finally setting boundaries – even with your Spiritual Guide – and refusing to put up with bullshit.”

Look, I’ve been trying to do what you wanted, at every opportunity…

“That’s the whole point. This is about your making progress, not being the ‘perfect student’. You’ve got to stop letting people walk all over you, if you want to be able to help anyone.”

That was also the point at which Heruka stepped into the background and pushed Lhamo Dorje into my focus. He told me that he was best for wrathful lessons, and that, for the most part, they were past. LD could take it from there.

I was stunned. It was great news, but I was very reluctant to leave the presence of Heruka’s raucous laughter and affectionate jibes…

I was being taught that whatever Guide was appearing to me at any point in time, was perfect for that point in time. As we make progress, it’s appropriate for our teachers to take on different aspects.

We just need to check in our hearts whether we feel we’re getting what we really need, or simply what’s familiar and comfortable.

It’s wonderful to contemplate and realize that all guidance is Empty, and all Guides share the same “nature”. Just the same, most of us appear here to receive an assortment of lessons. For that, we likely need an assortment of teachers.

So we need discernment, not only of the quality of the teachers and teachings, but also of the times to make changes in the path.

When I reflect on that learning curve, I feel quite humbled and grateful. Not only am I often clueless as to what I really “need” (in an ever-evolving way), I’m usually the most confused when I feel the most “correct”. Fortunately I perceive my Guides as understanding this deeply, and having infinite patience.

2. How do we know we’re protected?

We often also concern ourselves a lot with protection.

When I first began receiving messages, I got some that were quite frightening. I remember at one point, spending the better part of a day trying to “seal and protect” a particular room in my house. I truly thought I was going mad, because there was no way to accomplish it. The “demons” were coming through every crack in the floor, under the door, through the air vent. My own Guides were telling me that it was going to be impossible to keep them out.

Wait! What’s the point of doing all this, then? I’m screwed! Why are you Guys even here if you can’t even help me? If this is hopeless, then why the hell did you bother to wake me up in the first place?

To make a very long story short, what I eventually learned was this: Yes, there are “demons” everywhere. Yes, we share space with them. It is impossible to escape their presence.Yes, there are dark forces conspiring to draw us in constantly.

So what?

If we have some understanding of Emptiness, we can begin to understand that everything that appears to us is perfect. Even if “perfect” means freaking out a bit once in a while.

3. What are we supposed to be doing?

When I first began writing All About Enlightenment, Heruka & Lhamo Dorje told me that I “must” also begin offering readings. I had a good laugh (and a few bitten fingernails) over that one. Based on whatcredentials?” I wanted to know. Credentials seem to be important to a lot of people.

I inquired at a few locations and found that I was “right” about that. Or perhaps I had clearly caused that condition to manifest… Hmm.

I gave a few personal readings, with mixed reactions, ranging from glowing praise… to no comment at all. It soon became evident that giving readings was not going to pay the rent.

That was about when, from out of the blue, I got a phone call offering me a job in my previous profession. Wow. I thought that phase of my life was over… Something seemed very “wrong” with this new direction. But it eased many concerns that had been shifting the focus of my attention, and my Guides assured me that things were going just as intended.

We needed to have a talk: immediately.

You guys lied to me! You lied when you told me you’d never lie to me!!!

(soft, affectionate laughter)

But I don’t want to go back into that field…


I’ve learned that when I get silence, it’s best to shut up and reflect. If I push back, it just goes downhill from there.

I soon got a pretty intact summary of what was going on, and had been going on for quite some time.

It was not appropriate for me to rely upon this work for outer sustenance. Sponsorship would be a wonderful option… which didn’t present itself.

Having a job would free up a tremendous amount of energy for simply learning and writing and sharing. And that was what was important. Having a job would allow me to joyfully post everything I had time to post, making it available to anyone who happened to stumble upon it.

“But what about all that importance and urgency You’ve been telling me about?”

Fast forward one year…

I’ve decided that between tags and internet search engines, it’s all going to be alright.

Every day, this quiet little blog gets found by a few quiet little readers… who search to understand and grow. The posts very seldom get comments, but it appears that people from all over the world are wanting to know how to connect with their guides, how to use a pendulum, and how to find enlightenment. And that, for me, is the best encouragement I could hope for.

I’ve spent a large part of the past two years worrying about whether I was doing enough, and wondering why my circumstances didn’t change so that I could spend my time in “more important” ways. Bit by bit, I seem to be learning that, no matter how much I stumble or curse or do weird things or get confused, it’s still all good.

I think I’m learning that reliance on Those with a much wider range of vision than myself (my lovely Buddhas) takes care of all my doubts.

If you feel that you’re wandering or seeking, and that you think you’re near finding the answers you’ve been looking for, welcome those experiences and answers, and rejoice.

Then, sit back, catch your breath, get some sleep, and strap yourself in.

Ready for the next round?


11 thoughts on “discernment and self-confidence

  1. Hey Leslee, I have a blog now on this site that I have started, the address is: http://lightandlovespiritguide.wordpress.com/ It was a tough decision on my part, I am not good with that kind of thing. I am pretty private of a person, but I feel like I need to get out what I have been experiencing. I am by no means a writer, but it’s never to late, right?
    Happy New Year!!
    <3 Tara

  2. Honestly Leslie, after reading this amazing article I am dumbfounded that you think yourself to be a novice writer!! You seem from my perspective to be a very skilled and wonderful writer.

    This article is filled with amazing guidance and touching Life stories. I thank you for connecting with me and for leading me to this wonderful site of yours :) :) :)

    1. Wed, thank you so much! I’m so happy to have connected with you too! And thank you for the compliment on the writing :) you’ve inspired me to create a post to share a story about that… In fact, I may do it right now! Still, as I find more and more people who are engaged in sharing whatever it is we’re sharing (light, wisdom, understanding, etc…), I’m continually humbled by the time and dedication that so many are giving to helping others! Thanks again for joining Us here! Lots of love, Leslee :D

  3. Hello, this is an amazing blog for me to read. I too contact my guides throught the pendulum on a spirit board. I protect my self with the white light and always ask Archangel Michael to protect me from any negative energies that are not wanted while dowsing. I once had a dream that my bathroom had this evil writing all over it and I blamed it on the pendulum (in my dream) and said I will never use it again. I feel very strong within myself to tell any negativityto get the H….. away from me if needed. Anyway, i talk to my main guide everday and take off on Tuesdays….my guides idea, and many others for family and friends. I get beautiful messages about the world and about the divine, the source, I also have spoke with my guardian angel, is that possible? I feel such a calmness and security knowing he is always with me. Every once in a while I do get worried he will go toward a word that would freak me out, but it doesn’t happen. I am trying to contact him now without the use of the pendulum and so far not much luck, just signs here and there. I am told that it will happen and to be ready for it. I am so happy that I found your blogs they are such an inspiration!! Good luck and always imagine a white light coming down into your crown chakra throughout your entire being. I also pretend roots are coming out of my feet and into the earth for grounding. Thank you for posting these blogs!! :) ~Hugs, Tara

    1. Hi, Tara! Thank you for the lovely comment, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the posts! It sounds like you’re having a great time with your Guides, and that’s exciting! A year ago I didn’t believe mine when They told me that soon I wouldn’t need to rely on the pendulum, yet now I seldom use one (although I always have one with me). Everyone is different, but for myself, it’s not like hearing a voice, it’s just a knowing. I carry a pendulum with me, and use it mainly to verify that I’m understanding… When I’m on track, I get a Yes, when something else is better I get a No, and when They want to get my attention to “talk”, or completely shift the way I’m looking at a situation, the pendulum swings in a circle. We worked out a style of pendulum that I can wear/use as a ring or a bracelet, and that makes all this more convenient :) If you’ve seen the Youtube video, I think I use that type of pendulum in some of the segments. If you’re interested in making one, please let me and I’ll send you some instructions. I need to do a post on that anyway… Please feel free to email any time (oneriver69@gmail.com), and you might be interested in another (related) blog that I just started: http://www.thinktoask.com. I think you’d be the first visitor there, lol!

      1. I would like to make a video at one point. I am just trying to think of how to get it started. I am definitley going to start a blog, as soon as I can get out of my shell. I have to say I am a bit shy with these things, but thats all the more reason to do it…..right?? That would be great if you could send me the instructions. Thank you!! Feel free yourself to email me too, my email is: tm_eternal@hotmail.com, I have you in my contacts now:)
        I look forward to reading your blogs. The new blog is also interesting to read and enjoyable, and fun being the first one to know about it…lol… Keep it going, very informative! I am just happy that I came across your blogs 2 months ago. Very good timing!!

      2. I bet you would love blogging and video’ing! I’ll be happy to help you get going – I joined the wordpress postaday back in February, and it was great to meet people that way, because I didn’t have a clue. I’ll try to get the pendulum instructions posted this weekend, along with the charts I made. I’d love to hear about what/how you’re using the pendulum. I’m trying to get this chapter 7 posted before I call it a night, but thanks again so much for the interaction, Tara! Hugs back! – Leslee

      3. Just so you know when I was just starting with the pendulum I came across your blog teaching about it and it is still in my favorites!! That blog was very helpful, you get across to more people then you think!!….I use a crystal quartz pendulum with a spirit board that I made, I usually make my own (and I have quite a bit) I am always open to new ideas as well. I say a little prayer first to archangel michael regarding protection with his sword and the light and to keep all negative energies away that I don’t need to have contact with. I always make sure to ask if my guide, angels etc, are from the light, and if they love the holy spirit. ….I basically use the alphabet chart daily (except Tues.) ….I get messages that are based on godly issues, very loving, teaching messages. My guide “Bill” also speaks of his last lifetime and which realm his spirit is in now. He speaks about the afterlife and what it is like, and has such a sense of humor, he can be quite silly at times. I usually ask if there are any messages for anyone in my family or friends, I actually have a chart with their names on it…lol….so if they need a message relayed to them he can let me know. I do of course have questions about my own life issues, but I try to keep mine to a minimum, since helping others is what it’s all about. I have channeled my husbands and kids guides as well. I always thank my guide when finished and tell him that I love him. It has all happened quite fast, before I knew it I was getting paragraphs. I wanted to thank you for all of your blogs, they bring a sense of kindness and are definitely fun way to learn different things!! ~Hugs and Blessings!!! Tara

      4. How beautiful, Tara, thank you so much for sharing! Yes, would blog wonderfully :) I’m delighted at how similar our “methods” are… I look forward to hearing more! I’m working on some more pendulum posts, inspired by you and another friend. Not sure if I can get them online today, but I know you’ll find them :D Hugs & Blessings to you, too!

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