discernment and self-confidence


[by Leslee]

I still feel like a novice at this blogging thing.

And at this channeling thing.

It’s been almost two years, but that’s a really short length of time in many ways.

Still, I’ve noticed a few things and learned a few lessons that I’d like to share, in case it helps others. Most of us have been so inundated throughout our lives with mis-information, that we might appreciate some tips for distinguishing help from obstacles.

1. How do we know who’s steering our way?

I’ve noticed that some people don’t seem to trust their own discernment, especially when it comes to “channeled” material. Or maybe they don’t even allow their discernment to develop. So they rely on “credentials”, because there is an abundance of channeling going on right now.

The trick is, we don’t need credentials, we need discernment.

The yearning for discernment runs quite deep. I want to know whom I’m talking to when I’m channeling, and from the beginning, I asked for a “source” that others would recognize – as if that lent credibility to the information.

I was quite shocked the day my Guides started spelling words with a pendulum, and explaining themselves to me. The initial contacts were with beings I didn’t recognize; as we continued, I was introduced to more and more highly realized beings. Eventually I landed in contact with an energy – a “Being” – whose signature I clearly recognized. That was how I began “chatting” with Heruka.

Thank goodness, I had finally connected with someone I could trust!

It is important that we ask for the highest possible guidance. Then, we proceed with the confidence that we’re getting it, no matter what.

Imagine my frustration when, six months later, I felt like I was being taunted by my long-awaited Pure Spiritual Guide! I was at a point of no turning back; I knew that there was no way I was going to abandon this path, but I was more than a little irritated with some of the lessons He was sending me.

Finally, one day, we had a huge breakthrough.

I told Him to eff-off, put the pendulum and chart down, and didn’t pick it up for three days.

It was a huge act of desperation. After fuming and ranting internally, I eventually calmed down and decided that yes, I’d come back, but there was no way I was going to put up with any more of that bullshit.

When I next sat down with my implements to see if anyone was still there, I was even more surprised by the message that came:

“Thank you, and congratulations!”

For what?

“For finally setting boundaries – even with your Spiritual Guide – and refusing to put up with bullshit.”

Look, I’ve been trying to do what you wanted, at every opportunity…

“That’s the whole point. This is about your making progress, not being the ‘perfect student’. You’ve got to stop letting people walk all over you, if you want to be able to help anyone.”

That was also the point at which Heruka stepped into the background and pushed Lhamo Dorje into my focus. He told me that he was best for wrathful lessons, and that, for the most part, they were past. LD could take it from there.

I was stunned. It was great news, but I was very reluctant to leave the presence of Heruka’s raucous laughter and affectionate jibes…

I was being taught that whatever Guide was appearing to me at any point in time, was perfect for that point in time. As we make progress, it’s appropriate for our teachers to take on different aspects.

We just need to check in our hearts whether we feel we’re getting what we really need, or simply what’s familiar and comfortable.

It’s wonderful to contemplate and realize that all guidance is Empty, and all Guides share the same “nature”. Just the same, most of us appear here to receive an assortment of lessons. For that, we likely need an assortment of teachers.

So we need discernment, not only of the quality of the teachers and teachings, but also of the times to make changes in the path.

When I reflect on that learning curve, I feel quite humbled and grateful. Not only am I often clueless as to what I really “need” (in an ever-evolving way), I’m usually the most confused when I feel the most “correct”. Fortunately I perceive my Guides as understanding this deeply, and having infinite patience.

2. How do we know we’re protected?

We often also concern ourselves a lot with protection.

When I first began receiving messages, I got some that were quite frightening. I remember at one point, spending the better part of a day trying to “seal and protect” a particular room in my house. I truly thought I was going mad, because there was no way to accomplish it. The “demons” were coming through every crack in the floor, under the door, through the air vent. My own Guides were telling me that it was going to be impossible to keep them out.

Wait! What’s the point of doing all this, then? I’m screwed! Why are you Guys even here if you can’t even help me? If this is hopeless, then why the hell did you bother to wake me up in the first place?

To make a very long story short, what I eventually learned was this: Yes, there are “demons” everywhere. Yes, we share space with them. It is impossible to escape their presence.Yes, there are dark forces conspiring to draw us in constantly.

So what?

If we have some understanding of Emptiness, we can begin to understand that everything that appears to us is perfect. Even if “perfect” means freaking out a bit once in a while.

3. What are we supposed to be doing?

When I first began writing All About Enlightenment, Heruka & Lhamo Dorje told me that I “must” also begin offering readings. I had a good laugh (and a few bitten fingernails) over that one. Based on whatcredentials?” I wanted to know. Credentials seem to be important to a lot of people.

I inquired at a few locations and found that I was “right” about that. Or perhaps I had clearly caused that condition to manifest… Hmm.

I gave a few personal readings, with mixed reactions, ranging from glowing praise… to no comment at all. It soon became evident that giving readings was not going to pay the rent.

That was about when, from out of the blue, I got a phone call offering me a job in my previous profession. Wow. I thought that phase of my life was over… Something seemed very “wrong” with this new direction. But it eased many concerns that had been shifting the focus of my attention, and my Guides assured me that things were going just as intended.

We needed to have a talk: immediately.

You guys lied to me! You lied when you told me you’d never lie to me!!!

(soft, affectionate laughter)

But I don’t want to go back into that field…


I’ve learned that when I get silence, it’s best to shut up and reflect. If I push back, it just goes downhill from there.

I soon got a pretty intact summary of what was going on, and had been going on for quite some time.

It was not appropriate for me to rely upon this work for outer sustenance. Sponsorship would be a wonderful option… which didn’t present itself.

Having a job would free up a tremendous amount of energy for simply learning and writing and sharing. And that was what was important. Having a job would allow me to joyfully post everything I had time to post, making it available to anyone who happened to stumble upon it.

“But what about all that importance and urgency You’ve been telling me about?”

Fast forward one year…

I’ve decided that between tags and internet search engines, it’s all going to be alright.

Every day, this quiet little blog gets found by a few quiet little readers… who search to understand and grow. The posts very seldom get comments, but it appears that people from all over the world are wanting to know how to connect with their guides, how to use a pendulum, and how to find enlightenment. And that, for me, is the best encouragement I could hope for.

I’ve spent a large part of the past two years worrying about whether I was doing enough, and wondering why my circumstances didn’t change so that I could spend my time in “more important” ways. Bit by bit, I seem to be learning that, no matter how much I stumble or curse or do weird things or get confused, it’s still all good.

I think I’m learning that reliance on Those with a much wider range of vision than myself (my lovely Buddhas) takes care of all my doubts.

If you feel that you’re wandering or seeking, and that you think you’re near finding the answers you’ve been looking for, welcome those experiences and answers, and rejoice.

Then, sit back, catch your breath, get some sleep, and strap yourself in.

Ready for the next round?


3 thoughts on “discernment and self-confidence

  1. Great lessons, Leslee. As an intense “seeker” and “Knower” for my 59 years on this plane, I’ve come to conclusions that verify the vastness of being. Our definition [at] of [Latin] who we are [course] is insignificant to the definition of What We Are. After reading several of your excellently written posts, I know you would love Chogyam Trungpa’s “Shambhala: The Sacred [anyway] Path of the Warrior”. Check it out… (And yes, I downloaded the [coffee] G.Radar…

  2. ~Thank You for LAB,Leslee…Most of the Time He is Hanging Out in the Front Picture Window…Getting Sun and Stars…EveryOnce in Awhile, LAB answers a Question…Most of the Time,tho, I Am Developing to Listen and Third Eye See my Own Energetic Guidance… ;) …TY for Being Here and for Being You~

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